Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 21, 2022


Children learning

Children can understand and grow in wisdom and the knowledge of God. Children are impressionable and can be easily influenced. Teach them the word of God, and when they are old, they will not depart from it. Some parents feel their kids are too young to understand biblical teachings, but children can learn about God and His word from a tender age. For instance, they start learning the alphabet, numbers, and nursery rhymes when they are toddlers, and they understand them. In the same way, they can learn the word of God, bible songs etc and understand them. What is important is presenting the lesson to the child skillfully and using methods suitable for their age.


1.   Keep it simple: use simple words that are easy to understand to communicate the word of God to children.

2.   Use colourful and relevant pictures: Pictures illustrate the bible story and improve the child’s understanding of the topic. Using pictures makes your work teaching your child easier.

3.   Use imagery: let them use their imagination to explore the thoughts you are communicating. This will help them ask further questions on the topic/subject of discourse.

4.   Videos and graphics: Videos are another relevant tool to teach children the word of God. As the child watches and is fascinated, you begin to chirp in the necessary information or message you want the child to know as you watch with the child. This tool is handy for parents or caregivers who do not know how to teach a child the word of God. Instead of leaving their bible education to chance, get collections of bible stories and other relevant resources the child can watch and learn. Watch the videos before showing your kids, so you can know the content. This way, you can discuss it with the child and not be disconnected when the child mentions a character or scene in the video. Watching them also helps you know if the content is good enough for your child’s consumption. Watch the videos with your kids, it is fun when you are part of their learning process.

5.   Take them to children's Sunday school, kids' bible club, vocational bible school for kids, children's camp and other well-established centres/ministries that teach children the word of God. It will complement the work you are doing at home.

6.   Install collections of interesting bible stories, cartoons, quizzes and games in their tabs and let them have a variety to watch and play with.


  •     They will know God and His ways.
  •      The word of God is a great tool that moulds their character and influences their habits, actions, decision making and even their association.

  •      You will have peace as a parent.

  •      You will be fulfilled as a Christian parent that you raised a godly child.     


Thursday, November 11, 2021


Parent teaching her son

The home is not only a place of refuge and comfort; it is the primary school where a child learns basic principles, etiquette, mannerisms and develop life skills. The child is a finished product of parenting (the raw materials of instructions and discipline instilled to him at home).

Certainly, the home is not the only place where children get all they need for development. Inputs from various spheres in the society such as schools, church, the media, peers, extended family members also play a paramount role in the outcome of a child. Howbeit, Parents should take the lead in raising their children and not outsource their primary responsibility of parenting to other sectors. What other people and institutions contribute should complement the parenting effort at home. 


Basic things you should teach your children

Teach your children to love God and honour you. They will learn by precepts and your conduct. Thus, it is proper to teach your children to listen to and heed your instructions. Permissive parents unknowingly encourage their children to disobey their instructions. It is proper and biblical for children to honor their parents. This is not say parents should be extremely authoritative and unloving. Be a loving parent, but instruct your children and encourage them to obey you.

"The one who follows instruction is on the path of life, but the one who rejects correction goes astray" (Proverbs 10:17).

Inculcate values such as diligence, empathy, tolerance and respect for others. The common adage, “charity begins at home”, connotes kids learn charity first in their home.

Teach them the value and purpose of work, courteousness, patience and life skills such as cooking, cleaning, basic sewing and repairs at home. Encourage them to work and earn honestly without cheating or embracing the short-cut approach. Allow your children do some things themselves even when house help is available to do home chores. In so doing, they will learn how to get things done themselves. I found a parent who gives her child’s school assignment to an older child to write. I told her politely to let her child do it herself because the child will learn faster and be confident of her ability that way. I encouraged her to work through the assignment with the child instead of outsourcing it to another child. It is not love to overindulge children and deny them the opportunity to learn.

Teach them to be polite and not rude to those serving them as domestic staff and to others they come across. 

Correct your children when necessary firmly and lovingly because there are no perfect children. 

Teach your children to love one another and strongly discourage sibling rivalry

Arm them with skills that will help them overcome challenges and solve simple problems themselves when you are not there.

Your children will not always be at home; they will go to school, religious centres, clubs etc. When they go out, they will reflect your values  because you are a role model  and they learnt by your examples and precepts.  When you have taught them sufficiently at home and they interact with conflicting values, they will likely make the same kind of decision or choice you would have if you were there. However, when anything goes in the home as in the case of permissive parenting, you may be setting them up to bring you shame instead of trophies. Train your children in the way they should go, and when they go out, they will not depart from it. 


Thank you for reading!


Saturday, November 6, 2021


Father and child

Fatherhood entails responsibility. This responsibility begins at  conception, through babyhood, formative years, teen and adulthood. Every child deserves a father, and that includes his presence, love and affection, affirmation, counsel, warmth, discipline and all-around contribution to his physical, spiritual, emotional and psychological development. A child is the continuity of his father, and this goes beyond sharing the same genes or phenotype. Children reveal the strength of character, dignity and investments of who a father is, what he has and his level of imparting the child.

As a father, your child should have you as a confidant to lean on and to learn from. It takes more than the contribution of your sex gamete to be a father. A father represents strength, provider, protector, role model, disciplinarian and lots more. It is a father's responsibility to love his children and their mother as well. It is his responsibility to create an enabling environment for his children to thrive and develop optimally. In some homes, as daddy returns home from work, the kids playing in the living room, resort to their rooms or do something else because daddy is home. The fragrance in the atmosphere changes from relaxing to wild. As a father, your children should rejoice at your arrival.  Be a joy giver to your children and not one that destroys fun. Be responsible to them beyond financial contribution and provisions. Be a loving father and a positive role model to them as well. A father should be an enigma of wisdom, a teacher and the priest of his home, providing spiritual and physical direction to his children. Train your child in the way he should go means you should have a vision of the way your children should go, discover your children and channel them in the right direction. Sure, child upbringing is not your sole responsibility, but you are to take the lead along with mummy and every other well-meaning contributor. Together you raise a complete, healthy and well-developed child.

I have stumbled upon some posts or comments of people whose fathers were never part of their lives. Never part of their lives, not because they are no more alive, but simply because they walked away, or worse still denied the child even before he could grasp his first breath. All the father wanted was to have fun, but in doing so, he sowed a seed and the fruit of his adventure developed without any other contribution from him. I hear some men say they were not ready to shoulder the responsibility of fatherhood, and so they walked away from their children. Some children are broken and bitter because of this phenomenon. They were ignored or abandoned by the one who should love them primarily and largely shoulder their upbringing responsibility. Rejection is a negative seed and should not come from a father to his child. If you are a father reading this article today and have kids you abandoned or rejected, please find your kid and make amends and start being responsible to them. Seek forgiveness and be the father you are to your child.

For soon to be fathers, please prepare yourself spiritually, physically, emotionally and otherwise to shoulder the responsibility of fatherhood. Think twice before you impregnate a lady, only to walk away. Fatherhood is an enjoyable and fulfilling journey if you prepare adequately for it. You are responsible for raising every child you birth, you are responsible for raising Godly children, especially if you are a christian parent and you can do so positively. Dear fathers arise to your responsibilities.

Thursday, June 17, 2021




The bible teaches us to train up our children in the way they should go. When we do that, they will not depart from it. Each child is unique and different from the other, hence the need to discover your child. Ignorance of the uniqueness of each child can make you involve in needless comparison. Deliberately avoid comparing your children or making a comparison between your child and others. In comparison many times, you tend to compare the weakness of one child with the strength of another child. The child doing poorly in math may be gifted in sports or music. One child can be easy going and phlegmatic and the other highly extroverted and different. Don’t compare your children to avoid sibling rivalry or suppressing the child's uniqueness. As a parent, endeavour to understand your child's uniqueness, accept it and promote it.

Paying attention to the uniqueness of each child can help you develop that child in the way he should go. Otherwise, you may find yourself trying to configure the child to be who he is not or set him on a path that is not his. This can be  frustrating both for you and the child as well. A child’s latent potentials will be better developed and expressed if he knows daddy and mummy are okay with his uniqueness.




Endeavour to observe the ways of each child deliberately. Begin early to observe each child from their formative stage and strategize to develop the distinctive potentials you discover in them. Your children live in the same house with you and exhibit various characteristics. You know their abilities, habits, likes and dislikes, temperaments, friends, what they are easily attracted to and what puts them off. You must really not be watching as a parent not to know the dominant trait and attributes of your child. When you discover your child’s potentials, tailor his/her training(s) along the line of your discovery. Let the singer sing and be herself if that is what you found, don’t make a medical doctor of her. Your discovery will also influence your choice of toys, school and course of study, the topic of interest for discussion and a whole lot of other nitty-gritty.

PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY SAY: Listen to your children when they talk especially when they are communicating very salient points about themselves or experiences. Hear the child out and give suitable feedback when necessary.

MEDITATION: Ponder on some of the important things your child says to you and don’t lose touch of them. You will need those words to make critical decisions at some point in the child’s life. In the bible, Mary the mother of Jesus kept some of his sayings in her heart. Jacob (Israel) did the same for Joseph when he talked about the dreams God showed him.


You should spend time to pray for each child.  Ask God to reveal the child to you and give you wisdom necessary to raise the child


 Create room for friendship with your child. Bond with them from when they are still very tender and have time to play and just talk with them. Ask them deliberate questions about their life goals such as what do you like to become. You will be amazed at their response. This should be done deliberately and regularly especially for parents with very busy schedules due to work and business demands. Create time for your child and be disciplined to use the time created for your child and not for other activities. When you spend time with your child, you build and develop friendship. You also encourage communication and a healthier relationship between you and your child. Don’t be too tough that your child cannot talk comfortably with you. Your child should be able to talk with you in a healthy and comfortable atmosphere even when you have different opinions.

Discovering your child is important and is your responsibility as a parent. Make good use of your findings to channel your child in the way he should go.

God bless you! Discover your child.


Friday, May 14, 2021



Sibling rivalry is the act of siblings contending with each other for the same thing, objective or superiority. It entails constant disagreement and bickering and in some cases fighting.

Sibling rivalry is a common phenomenon in many families around the world and can be observed as early as childhood; where siblings compete for the attention of their parent(s), contend for toys and other belongings etc. It can be mild in some cases and easily resolved and some children will outgrow them as they become more mature. In other cases, it can be very severe, starts from childhood and deteriorates into greater degrees of hatred and animosity as it continues into adulthood. Some siblings start well relating cordially and care for one another, but along the line, they turn out to become each other’s rival necessitated by certain happenings.


In the bible, sibling rivalry was recorded in one of the earliest accounts among two brothers, Cain and Abel. Cain killed his brother because of envy. God had respect for Abel’s offering and this infuriated Cain. He was not just angered; he proceeded to kill his unsuspecting brother who did him no wrong but offered an acceptable sacrifice to God

“Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast” (Genesis 4:2-5-NIV).

Cain’s anger speaks of unhealthy competition and inability to stand the success of his sibling. He would have been pleased if God accepted him, and not his brother. His anger progressed into taking the life of his brother

“Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him” (Genesis 4:7-8-NIV).

Another common example of sibling rivalry in the bible is recorded in the account of Jacob (also called Israel) and his sons. He loved one of his sons Joseph greatly and it was outrightly obvious to the others that Joseph was given preferential treatment.

“Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons because he had been born to him in his old age, and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him (Gen 37:3-4-NIV).

Also, when Jacob was going to see his brother, Esau whose birthright he supplanted, he sent messengers ahead of him to inform Esau of his return. The messengers told him Esau was coming to see him with 400 men. He was afraid Esau could attack him, so he divided his families into groups. In this division, he also put Joseph and Rachael at the rear and other members of the family ahead. This also typify preferential treatment for Joseph and his mother, Rachael.

“Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two maidservants. He put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear” (Gen 33:1-2-NIV).

Joseph also had dreams whose interpretation meant he would rule over his brothers. This in addition to the favouritism Joseph enjoyed from his father made his siblings hate him more. They ployed to kill him and make void his dreams, however, they sold him in exchange for money instead of killing him because Joseph was a man of purpose, and God had plans for him. In Josephs case, his father contributed to the hatred he experienced from his brothers. Sibling rivalry has always been in existence among families and not a new trend. Therefore, deliberate steps should be taken to prevent it or manage it discreetly when it occurs.


Parental disposition towards children: parents can unknowingly induce sibling rivalry by their actions and disposition towards their children. For instance, favouritism as seen in the case of Joseph above can make the other siblings rival the favoured child. Child preference can be necessitated sometimes to the child’s peculiar abilities, special skills, academic performance, love from that child or even resemblance to parent. When a parent displays extravagant affection for one child and much less to the others, it can promote jealousy from them to the favoured child. Parents can also induce sibling rivalry in handling conflict resolution. Parents who take sides regularly with one child as against the other can make the other feel cheated. Perceived inequality and unfairness can trigger sibling rivalry.

Children disposition towards one another

A Cantankerous child may likely get disciplined more than the easy-going and well-behaved child. The constant discipline he gets may make the child feel less loved.

Polygamy: Some half-siblings may also naturally want to get at each other due to certain disposing factors in the home, their mothers attitude, inequitable distribution of resources etc.

Jealousy which can be triggered by any of the above-mentioned points.

Lack of understanding of the purpose of the family: ignorance of the reason family exists can fuel sibling rivalry. Some people don’t see beyond themselves and don’t value and celebrate their differences and fail to understand family is a gift. Siblings are blessings and when things get awry, there is always a place you can return to and be safe and supported which is the family.

Sibling rivalry is sometimes limited to childhood and fades out as the children grow into adulthood and become more mature. However, in some severe cases, the status quo remains and as adults, sibling rivalry still exists. Some common causes of this include:

  • Long unresolved or poorly resolved conflicts
  • Influence of spouses among married siblings
  • Societal status of one sibling relative to the others
  • Inability to stand the success of a well to do/gifted sibling
  • Inheritance: one sibling feel cheated in the allotment of their father’s assets
  • Polygamy


Do not initiate rivalry among your children whether directly or indirectly. Ensure fairness in children upbringing and be seen to be fair. Though you love a particular child greatly for reasons best known to you, don’t put it in the face of the other children. Be fair in giving gifts, quality of education, enforcing discipline, display of affection etc.

Resolve conflicts among siblings amicably without taking sides and follow through the process to ensure the conflict is truly resolved.

When your kids compete, it’s an avenue to teach love, sharing and caring. It’s natural for young kids to compete for your attention, toys, sit in a position in the car etc. Take advantage of these moments to teach them to unite and look out for each others’ welfare. Start early to bond your children and make them involved in each other’s lives. Teach them to celebrate each other’s attainment and pray for one another. Encourage them to be friends with each other and care for one another.

If you are drawn to academic performance, it's okay you will likely be pleased with a high flier or gifted child.  Also use the peculiar attributes the others have to celebrate them too. Every child is unique and can be celebrated if you seek to discover your child.  One child may not be intelligent, but a gifted singer, homemaker, industrious etc, celebrate that child’s uniqueness and also make provision for its development just as you do to the one who loves academics.

Both parents should unite to bond their children purposefuly. In some homes, mummy has her favourite and daddy has his favourite and they turn out to rival one another, mummy’s favourite against daddy's favourite.  Above all, be proactive to make your children positively involved in each other’s life. Set them up to love one another and not against each other. There is strength in unity and it is good and pleasant for siblings to be united.



 How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!  It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his robes. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore” (Psalm 133-NIV)


God bless you!



  CAN CHILDREN UNDERSTAND THE WORD Children can understand and grow in wisdom and the knowledge of God. Children are impressionable and ca...