PURPOSEFUL PARENTING: TAKING THE LEAD IN CHILD UPBRINGING

The home is not only a place of refuge and comfort; it is the primary school where a child learns basic principles, etiquette, mannerisms and develop life skills. The child is a finished product of parenting (the raw materials of instructions and discipline instilled to him at home).

Certainly, the home is not the only place where children get all they need for development. Inputs from various spheres in the society such as schools, church, the media, peers, extended family members also play a paramount role in the outcome of a child. Howbeit, Parents should take the lead in raising their children and not outsource their primary responsibility of parenting to other sectors. What other people and institutions contribute should complement the parenting effort at home. 

TIPS FOR PARENTING

Basic things you should teach your children

Teach your children to love God and honour you. They will learn by precepts and your conduct. Thus, it is proper to teach your children to listen to and heed your instructions. Permissive parents unknowingly encourage their children to disobey their instructions. It is proper and biblical for children to honor their parents. This is not say parents should be extremely authoritative and unloving. Be a loving parent, but instruct your children and encourage them to obey you.

"The one who follows instruction is on the path of life, but the one who rejects correction goes astray" (Proverbs 10:17).

Inculcate values such as diligence, empathy, tolerance and respect for others. The common adage, “charity begins at home”, connotes kids learn charity first in their home.

Teach them the value and purpose of work, courteousness, patience and life skills such as cooking, cleaning, basic sewing and repairs at home. Encourage them to work and earn honestly without cheating or embracing the short-cut approach. Allow your children do some things themselves even when house help is available to do home chores. In so doing, they will learn how to get things done themselves. I found a parent who gives her child’s school assignment to an older child to write. I told her politely to let her child do it herself because the child will learn faster and be confident of her ability that way. I encouraged her to work through the assignment with the child instead of outsourcing it to another child. It is not love to overindulge children and deny them the opportunity to learn.

Teach them to be polite and not rude to those serving them as domestic staff and to others they come across. 

Correct your children when necessary firmly and lovingly because there are no perfect children. 

Teach your children to love one another and strongly discourage sibling rivalry. 

Arm them with skills that will help them overcome challenges and solve simple problems themselves when you are not there.

Your children will not always be at home; they will go to school, religious centres, clubs etc. When they go out, they will reflect your values  because you are a role model  and they learnt by your examples and precepts.  When you have taught them sufficiently at home and they interact with conflicting values, they will likely make the same kind of decision or choice you would have if you were there. However, when anything goes in the home as in the case of permissive parenting, you may be setting them up to bring you shame instead of trophies. Train your children in the way they should go, and when they go out, they will not depart from it. 

 

Thank you for reading!